Is it time for a mental makeover?
Last Monday I shared a powerful and poignant explanation, in the form of a Nike ad (!), of the way many a talented woman develops an unjustifiably low sense of self-esteem. The part that always gets me is where it talks about letting that rusty old image you carry slip away and out of view.
Doesn’t that sound fabulous?
The challenge is figuring out how to root out those old images, tapes, and stories trying to tell you you’re so much less than you are. (And don’t you believe for a minute that even the most successful women you can think of don’t have moments where they’re not crazy about themselves.)
Doing this is not only crucial for your mental and emotional health; it impacts the financial health of your business, as well. If you continually tell yourself you’re no good at something, you’re likely to create a perfectly self-fulfilling prophecy. If, on the other hand, you learn how to stay focused on what’s working for you, take action to make appropriate behavioral changes when needed, and learn to emulate the habits of successful people, you’ll change negative self-talk to much more positive and empowering self talk.
Here are some nuts and bolts that will get you started on your mental makeover.
- Accept compliments. Just because you may be turning a blind eye to your accomplishments doesn’t mean other people are. Use their observations to start acknowledging and honoring your achievements.
- Start filtering in your successes. I recommend keeping a small notebook on your desk so you can track all the purposeful and effective action steps you take every day. You can go back and read this over whenever you’re hit with the feeling that you’re a slug. This will be made easier if you…
- Eliminate “yabbuts”. You know what I’m talking about. When someone gives you a compliment, or you start to pat yourself on the back, you downplay the positive by saying, “Yes, but…”. Just stop it!
- Bask in positive feelings. Think of how it feels when you close an ideal prospect, or give a talk that an audience member calls “life changing,” or finally complete that important task you were procrastinating on. Spend some time enjoying your triumphs, instead of taking them for granted and immediately looking for the next. This increases your personal power and self esteem.
- Say “no” appropriately. “No” is, in fact, a complete sentence. You owe it to yourself and your business to say “no” to what fails to serve you. You may even occasionally have to say “no” to some very good things in order to say “yes” to even better ones.
- Stop should-ing on yourself. Should-ing is one of my personal hate-favorite habits. “I should have done this, I should have done that…” You tear yourself down and rob yourself of power every time you say this. Shift to the more positive, forward-thinking version, “I could have done that…and I will the next time.”
- Ditch the perfectionism. Ain’t none of us perfect, and we’re not likely to ever be. How about you settle for your very best?
- Center yourself with meditation. Yes, yes, I know–often easier said than done. However, even I’ve had success with a simple breathing meditation: Inhale normally and on the exhale count “one”. Do it again, and on the exhale count “two.” Concentrate on your counting and do this once a day for 15 minutes or up to a count of 100, whichever feels more accessible for you.
- Feel the fear and do it anyway. I love author Susan Jeffers’ contention that “the only way to get rid of the fear of doing something is to go out and do it.” Practice in little ways and build up to the bigger, more important situations.
- Focus on what you want, not what you don’t want. If you’re a fan in the Law of Attraction, this will sound familiar: You get more of what you focus on and less of what you don’t focus on. So forget about thinking in terms of getting out of debt (because you don’t want more debt, right?), and instead think in terms of making more money by serving more of your ideal clients.
- Develop inverse paranoia. This is the opposite of Murphy’s Law, and it states that “Anything that can go right, will go right.” A great way to develop this is to practice looking for positive ways to respond to the speculation, “What if…?”
So…Which of these resonate with you? Can you see yourself using some of these tools to start your own makeover? What success have you already had in this regard?
By the way, thanks to hearthandhomemagazine for posting the before-and-after images in the Creative Commons section of Flickr.This entry was posted in focus, personal power, successful women, take action and tagged focus, perfectionism, personal power. Bookmark the permalink.